With no apologies to Clement Clarke Moore

Twats the night before Christmas, And oh my ! I’m a cum licking souse!

And my genitals were stirring like a pubic louse.

Walking bowlegged and chafed room to room with my ass so bare

In hopes that soon I’d have a bottle of St. Ives in there

The pubic muffs were nestled all stuck to their beds

With visions of my dick fucking their spreads
And the next piece in her teddy and I putting on a condom cap

Had just started 69ing for a long oral lap.

When out of her ooze there arose such a splatter

I sucked on the clit, wondering if her dildo had she sat her.

With a groan I then forgot from her expert tongue lash;

That’s when I stuck my fingers into her gash.
With a quick orgasmic spasm while she gave a blow

 I gave a luster of thick fluid jism from chin to forehead all a row

When, to my quivering dick did I sense a lustily leer,

But another lay with a six pack of beer!
With nipples so perky and puff’d thick,
I knew in a moment she’d be the next one I’d stick
More to the point I think her intention was the same

What more was that there were others behind that dame!

Holy Shits!  36 tits! Now, I’m goinna do some mixin’!

On condom! Fuck let’s get stupid! Guess I’ll start with that tight little vixen!

To pop my Torch! To do you all!

Now finger away! Finger away! Finger away ‘til I call!
As I had one by prick, tongue and fist to a plentiful sigh

Thank the spirits that some of the women were bi!

To their neighbors did they coo

“Let me lick you till he gets to you!”

And then, with a tinkling, I heard a whisper, “goof”

The prancing and pawing she bade me to sample her poof.

As I capped my head and was turning around

She stuck her tongue into my crack without a sound.
To my surprise she was a he from his little head to his foot,

His dick was quite tiny, yet ready to root

With a bundle of sex toys slung over his back

To compensate for his lack.
He apologized for his mistake (he called himself Larry)

He had mistakenly thought that it was something other than my ass so hairy

He had thought I’d like some help with all the pussy to mow

And perhaps the rawness would make his dick appear to grow.
The stump of a lovin’ pipe had caused him some grief,
And a couple of bi’s frowned when they tongued his beneath!
Then He a couple of broads bounced into his face (both named Kelly)
That when their tits shook he laughed and cried, “Whoa Nelly!”

He had a cubby and a pump, right proud of himself –

Likened to a blood blister popping he came, to partake a wee bit of pelf!

With a nod of both heads I let myself away be led

But shouted at him, “just don’t stain my bed!”
He spoke not a word, but began to stroke his fleshy dirk,
I was worried as he started to jerk.
Cuz any self satisfaction would surely make him doze
But soon he was guiding his rod and up one pussy he goes!

 He sprang to his next lay, with his dick the size of a thistle,

And as she turned over and began to stroke his luv missle

But I heard him exclaim as he went to drive her where there’s no sunlight,

“Where the fuck are we going to find KY this late at night?”


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