Dick Taters

Hey there peoples I’s gots sumthang
I’s just gots to say
‘bout a manly part
That folks tend to overlook,
Just like seein’ who funded the ‘facts’
In that there fancy schmancy text book

It’s sumthang guys can scratch for hours
Shrivels like a raisin with too many whiskey sours
And can be plopped ‘tween them wemmen’s two fleshy towers,
Which ironically it don’t matter if it unlike the towers sag
‘less of course you’ve gots a tendency to gag

I’m talkin’ ‘bout them dick ‘taters
Don’t be shy
Have them nows or laters
Cuz they just ain’t end stops
Used by masturbators

Dick taters
They’s ain’t for show
But if you look below
They’s also cold temperature indicators

Now I knows that all this talkin’ ‘bout dick taters
Gets the wimmin folk all het up
That they’s could just spit
But really ya can’t do that
Without them taters producing it

Now Alice did say to the Mad Hatter,
“I’m a bit bothered by all this matter,
For there’s a pot of hot water
But in it there is no bag.”
“Of course not for the heat would it cauter,”
Did the Hatter with a wink and a zip did wag,
Open up your mouth wide, and I’ll dip it inside!”

So’s if ya figure yer mouth ain’t that wide
Then just take one at time I’m here to ya tell
They’s got the texture and taste y’all savour
If not hell
Cover’em with whipped crème or even some salsa
Cuz it’s a sexy assed sexual side dish of many a flavour
C’mon y’all and suckle that there dick tater

So let’s all hear it for dick taters
Cuz like ‘em or not
All us men folk have ‘em a hangin’
‘cept for Tarzan
Who swung to low to a group of alligators

If ya are groaning over this one now, you should have seen the original!  I chose to spare you kind folks the headache, however if you have several minutes that can never be replaced and feel like you ought to be punished, the full, overly long winded ramble/poem (s) is here…http://withoutanetab.blogspot.com/2011/06/de-progression-of-great-dictator.html?zx=6736b747f549e9fd


28 thoughts on “Dick Taters

    1. You know, that’s exactly what my general manager said when he had come looking for me and asked what I was writing. Mind you, it was very politely done – he’s learned that if I have a thick layer of drying mud and blood all over my face, I’m probably not having the best of days.


    1. I do that to a lot of people – they don’t think I see them, but I know when they stop and slowly inch backwards away!


    1. Ordinarily I would not dare to counter any person’s opinion, however, from an experience as a teenager I can say without a doubt that alligators are not the worse – trying to mimic what she saw in one of her parent’s porn mags with a mouth full of braces is!


      1. The worst part was the dentist didn’t even freeze ’em, just gave them a yank with one hand while the other hand held the girl’s face in place. I walked bow-legged for a week, fortunately I grew up in a rural area so it was just assumed that a cow had kicked me!


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